Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Time to be told, "I told you so"

I have yet to tell my family but i told my bff Elizabeth about the events that occurred on 05-18-08 basically the gist of it is that Trevor tried to get with my other bff Leeanne that night at a party even though she has a boyfriend. Long story short anyone who disrespects me, let alone my friends deserves to get knocked the fuck out. All in all had I listened to Liz and my family back in December I know I never would have learned my lesson. So I consider this life lesson number 198,265,013 as completed. Note to self (13th reminder) if it seems too good to be true, it always is. Other note to self, don't hate the dating game... hate the player.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Nothing Special

I really have not written anything not because I did not have the time but simply due to the fact that nothing special or exciting has occurred in this time and because I have been quite depressed. My boyfriend Trevor is very busy in the late winter early spring season but in the summer and fall better known as the off-season he is not busy. Because of this there has been major scheduling conflicts for seeing each other and we both decided it would just be easier on the both of us if we took a break until the off season. It has only been 4 days but I feel like I may be going insane. When we first met it was under very ridiculous circumstances, I was terribly drunk, it was my 18th birthday and I ended up puking and passing out, but during the time that I got to know him it was absolutely amazing!
Problem....I was still dating someone else. Dan and I had been having issues in our relationship but we were on a break. Trevor and I began to talk everyday on msn and played 21 questions, which never ended with 21 more like 101 but it was still great and we got to know each other very well. But then Dans grandpa died and I felt horribly guilty and three days later, my moms biological mothers husband better known to me as uncle Ted passed away. I went into shock and stopped talking to Trevor up until a year to date on my 19th birthday. We started talking everyday again and picked up where we left off, it was like a match made in heaven.
Next problem...my parents hate him, he treats me like gold doesn't let me pay for anything takes 3 hours of travel from his house in Clairview to my house in Millwoods to see me but apparently it is not good enough. "He is not good enough for me", "He should always come to see me, I should not be the going over to his house to see him."
Problem number three...I get sick. Very sick, and Trevor is working constantly and doesn't really have a choice in the matter because his father is one of his managers, and Sam..his dad is a real hard ass on Trevor.
Next problem now not only is my family hounding on me about my relationship but my best friend is now hassling me about my relationship with Trevor. She feels that he is just making excuses and doesn't even take the time to listen to me about what things are like for him. Not only does he have to deal with an overbearing father who constantly hounds him if he even looks like he has gained a bit of weight (this is an issue because he plays football competitively) but is also on his back nearly 24/7 about work responsibilities. Besides this he has a girlfriend whose entire immediate family hates him, literally and whose best friend doesn't approve of him either.
If you ask me thats a lot of bullshit to put up with and I wouldn't be surprised in the least bit if he tells me in the summer that he really isn't willing to go through with it all again, believe me I'll be devastated but at least I will understand where he is coming from. No one has even stopped to think about how I feel about it. What i think or care, because who really cares what I think or care as long as everyone else is happy right? Then the world gets to keep orbiting around their so called "perfect lives" in which they have so much experience and know so much about.

I always knew I was never really meant to be truly happy in this live..I just hadn't completely realized it before.

t.t.f.n.